Thursday, May 26, 2005

the Hovater fitness machine

One thing I love to do that drives my wife crazy (there are many things that fit this category) is to assert that I am in good shape, even though I have had no disciplined exercise schedule. She then says something like, "Now way you're in good shape...how can you say that? you don't do anything!" To which I reply, (and this really drives her crazy), "I just lead a generally active lifestyle." Then she fumes and shakes her fist at me.

Now, I'm not backing off of the above position, and still hold it to be true, but I have, in addition to my active lifestyle, also begun the additional regiment of some running and bike riding. The second I do at the gym on the exercise bike, and that's pretty fun just because of the tremendous people watching opportunity. there are the guys with the thirty inch diameter necks, the guys who are obviously there for the first and last time, the obsessively thin girls who have already been jogging for ten hours just so they can wwork off their salad dressing from lunch, which will be their only meal for a month. Then there are some folks that look bored while they work out, and some people who look like they generally come to the gym to meet people. the exercise bikes are at the front of a fleet of treadmills, stairclimbers, and there is a big mirror, so you can see everybody. I just hope they see that I'm the guy who's there just for fun, not because I need to workout, because I lead a generally active lifestyle.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Dear John Olive

Dear John Olive,

I am writing this letter on the occasion of the fifteenth anniversary of your departure to Florida, which essentially dissolved our friendship. Having not really spoken to you since we left the sixth grade, I thought I would post this open letter. Perhaps in common vanity you will google your own name, and then on the eight page you will find this letter, and thus receive my goodwill.

Up until that pre-pubescent point of departure we had an excellent time together, and this friendship is still one of the more specific things I remember from our youth. Being both shorter boys, you and I had a sort of alliance that helped us survive and thrive among our taller amigos. If I may be so bold, the dash of cleverness that the Lord allowed each of us also cemented this friendship, as we outwitted our adversaries. A couple of boys who understood each other, that's what we were, and played so many different games together, shared so much laughter.

I remember you beginning to play the trombone, and I the drum. Since you left I never hear whether you turned out to be good at the trombone, but I was never particularly a good percussionist. I remember going to your house, which was kind of funky and seems in my memory gigantic. It seems as though it was in the woods, and almost like a tree house...I remember running around it endlessly, and have one memory of looking up to see your grandma looking down on us from the balcony. I always thought your grandma was pretty cool. I know you hated not having your dad around, but I always thought it was cool that your grandma lived with you and your mom...she didn't even seem all that old, and really had a lot of style for a grandma. I think she was quite elegant.

I remember playing out on the old payground at school, before they put all the super safe playground equipment ou there. the old concrete tubes, wooden staircases, and metal monkey bars were quite fine for us, and we ruled it well. Why the heck did we obsessively think there was some sort of treasure under that one concrete pipe? I remember that when we were inside it, there was a crack in the joint, and we could did in the earth between the two sections...but why did we? Perhaps just that there was a place TO dig indicated that there would be treasure beneath it. Regardless, we neevr really found any sort of treasue there, nothing physically tangible, anyways. Imagination, what a resource for games! I remember that you and I played all sorts of character games, where we would role play endless characters. I remember some odd game with Mark Schmidt, the yankee kid from conneticut who was in our class for about a year. whatever happened to that kid, I wonder. I don't really remember enough to write a letter to him, I think. I do remember that we told him that the crumbs on those strawberry shortcake ice cream bars were some sort of jewels, and I rememer he kept a bunch of them. I always think about that when I see one of those bars, even now. I think later today I may buy one and raise it to the northest and toast Mark Schmidt with it. I don't think we were being mean, really, just playing an imaginative game.

I hope this finds you well, old friend. Because there have been so many friends that I've shared life with since the sixth grade, and I know that some of them a re well, but some are not, and that's sad. On occasion some of those friends reappear and the sharing picks up again, but sometimes not and I suppose that's okay. Some friendships are only ours for a time, though some go on as constants for longer. I wish ours could have been the latter, but I'm thankful for what it was. IT was a gift for a time, one that shaped my youth in a quircky sort of way, and I am the better for it. I hope you are too.

Peace,
Steven

Monday, May 23, 2005

Zanfel

This is the post I should have made two weeks ago...if only i'd known

(Steven bows his head and clenches his fist, regretfully.)

For the particular form of contact dermititis (rash) that is caused by the tozin urishol, produced by poison ivy, there is one product. this one product should be purchased at the first sign of an outbreak by every individual, without exception.

I mean to tell you that I have tried a ridiculous amount of treatments and relief strategies for the poison ivy, but there is only one that I will try henceforth, and it is called Zanfel.

Okay, this stuff is a little pricey, especially since the other tubes of creme that it is shelved with all cost like $3.00. BUT IT WORKS. I really had poison ivy bad, then used Zanfel and in a half hour I didn't itch anymore. My skin is still getting back to normal, but the itch was gone and I could get back to living. I could play outside, get hot, and not coat myself with pink stuff. It's a wash, notnot something you have to put on and let dry, so it doesn't amtter what you do afterwords. Everything else is a treatment, but this stuffis closer to being a cure. You think I'm exaggerating here, but if you get the rash, please, please trust me, go buy Zanfel immediately, and don't itch for two straight weeks. this is good counsel.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Star Wars

Okay, so I was among the thousands of nerds who went to thursday AM's midnight showings of Star Wars episode 3. I am now referring to myself as Darth (ho)Vater and am using various jedi mind tricks on my fellow staff members here at the office. I have kept my light saber concealed so as not to reveal my identity to my foes at too early a time.

I had agreat time at the show, just as much for the atmosphere as for the movie itself. I think that any time you get a group of people who are being so unabashedly ridiculous in the face of societal norms you're bound to have a good time. It was like all these nerds came out into the open, proudly reveling in their nerd-dom. there was definitely a light saber brawl in the front of the auditorium before the previews began. There was a good audience for this, partcularly since the auditorium was 95% full an hour and a half before the show time. Yeah, that's right, an hour and a half. I think one of the funnier things I saw was Darth Vader outside smoking a cigarette after the movie. Doesn't that helmet have a filter?

For the movie itself, I have to say that I really did like it. There are a couple of parts that are somewhat cheesy (like when Vader takes his first steps in the new armor...that had to be intentionally a Boris Karloff tribute, absolutely had to be.) I even thought one part already looked outdated in its effects, when Obi-Wan and VAder are cruising on the small platforms in the middle of the lava. It won't be long at all before that just looks straight up stupid. But in the main, I really did like the movie. I thought that part of what made the orignal three episodes great , besides the fantasy component, was that you actually cared about the characters. You were invested in what happened to Luke and Han, and rooted for them. But episodes one and two really didn't achieve that very well...the characters were secondary to the development of the plot and the fantasy element. In this last installment, I felt like I understood the characters better and sympathized with them. From Yoda to Obi-Wan and finally to Vader himself, we finally understand them a little better. the plot served the characters instead of it only being the other way around, and in the end this film turns out to be a pretty good story about sacrifice, integrity and even love. props to George on this one. I know some people will probably hate it, but I really did like it quite a bit.

Postscript:
The rash is susbsiding, though still lingering a little.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

itchin

Okay so last week I lost my favorite disc, a champion valkarie that was nicely tie-dyed and weighed 172 grams. I threw it into some deep woods at Bud Hill in Memphis, and do not expect to hear back from it any time soon (the search party carried on courageously, but to no eventual avail.) Wherever that disc lies, this is not where the story is found. This part is only to give you the vital background info, which is essentially that I lost a nice disc.

So I returned from my tour of the southeast last week and was ready to spend some time on the lovely disc golf course here in Little Rock, namely Burns Park. So last Sunday I bought a replacement disc that was pretty much the same as the old one, with brighter colors. On the blue course, the five hole is a little nasty. It goes sharply downhill immediately, and then about 340 feet to the hole which lies across a small creek. The trick is that theere is a fence running the length of the hole about 25 feet to the left. That proximity and the downhill element add up to a great chance that if you hand your disc at all, it WILL go out of bound acrss the fence, and come to rest somewhere on the hill between the fence and I-40. Therefore my amigos here refer to the hole as the stove, because as the old adage goes, "I can tell you that it's hot, but you won't believe me until you touch it for yourself."

So of course I throw the brand new disc and it goes over the fence and onto the hill, which I should probaably go ahead and reveal is both obscured from view from the launch pad and is covered with plant life such as honeysicle, thorns, and other plants which of course factor into the story more directly. But at this point, what I'm saying is that I lost track of the disck nearly as soon as it crossed the fence, and knew it was going to be hard to find.

I told my friends to leave me at the stove, and I spent the next half hour wandering throught he waist high plants, searching diligently for my plastic. Fortunately, in the course of my search, I found two other discs, and then my original one. Unfortunately, I also found enough poison ivy to light me up for the last week and a half.

And so I itch.

I itch crazily and mildly, and for a few short moments, not at all. I have applied two different cremes, ingested steroids and two different antihistamines orally, and accepted a needle full of the steroids in the posterior as well. I have bathed in oatmeal, taken cold showers for a week, and set the thermostat at 40 degrees. I have refrained from playing outside to keep from getting hot, and I have tried not to scratch. I have slept in the spare bedroom to keep from waking my wife by tossing, and still I itch.

I even shaved my freakin' legs.

And I still itch.

The rash has died down considerably, and hopefully will completely fade in the next two days. Hopefully.

I gotta go, it's time to scratch.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Sweet Home Indeed

I'm back this week from a good round of travel to Alabama, the stompin' grounds of my youth.

It all began last Tuesday with the wonderful feeling of handing in my final exam. I love the freedom that comes with that...I can read and study anything I want now without feeling guilty that I'm neglecting the required academic work. Anytime during the semester that I steel away with a novel or some random book I feel like I'm cheating on my class. Now, though, the freedom of that bit of time is great. Any ideas what I should pick up?

After pausing to play Bud Hill in Memphis, I made the run on down to Flo-town, getting home in time to hang out with the family. These days the family also includes a faster brother who's been with my family for nearly a year, and who will most likely be adopted into our family this summer. He's a cool kid, and I really do love it any time I get to hang out with him (and I think he does too.) It's really a neat thing to watch my parents get involved again with the process of parenting. It's so different to watch from the outside, and to see that they really are pretty awesome parents. Yesterday I kept thinking about my Mom, and about how proud I am of her. Dad too, I really was blessed by their ministry of parenting. they are kind of crazy though, and anybody who knows them can attest to that zaniness.

Wednesday, the brothers Cooper and I spoke for the kids out at Mars Hill, where we all did our time in high school. Can I just say that I was extremely impressed with that group of kids? I mean, for real this is a stinkin' good group of students. they treat each other well, they play nice, and I was just really impressed. Props to the Hill, I think they're in a good place. I also got to play volleyball, too. I love to play volleyball. I love it, I love it, I love it!

Okay, so after we finished at the Hill, we went out to old Veterans park to check out the disc golf course there in Florence. It rocked, even though they have some wicked basket placements, some that are just downright mean. I think I was 200 over par. Next time I'm back home we're going to work on that.

After some hang out time with my grandparents, I headed on down to birmingham for the rest of the week. my little bro Hovie is in med school there, and he took me ona tour of some of the coolest places to eat in the old steel town. I think the best thing I ate may have been the ham, goat cheese, and fried green tomatoe sandwhich at franklin's. I know, ti doen't sound like much, but it was pretty much awesome. It made me want to start a restaurant just so I can serve that one food.

So, Alabama has a list of the top 100 foods you shuold eat when you're in the state. I think that's where I want to wrap up my blog today. Anybody have some must eats for the places you live? I'd like to put totgether a little checklist.

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